Lumosity Girl: Short Hair Means Better Brain?

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Lumosity Girl: Short Hair Means Better Brain?

The Lumosity girl really, deeply annoys me. What uninspired, recent-college-grad came up with the brilliant idea that a girl with really quirky short hair, a strong Irish nose and anally-precise pronunciation would come across as intelligent? I may have to ask my significant other to chop her hair before she takes her next written exam, as it will clearly boost her scores. And not to mention, who the hell talks about their brain in the third person? The Lumosity chick does. Let me explain why this is stupid: When you talk, it’s not *you* talking, it’s your *brain*. You are your brain. It’s not like a hand or an appendage, it’s the very thing it’s talking about. You can say, “I’m thinking a lot more clearly since Lumosity.” That’s acceptable. You can’t say that your brain is working better. You can say that your friend’s brain is working better, because that makes sense. But, Lumosity Girl seems unaware that the thing thinking and making the words come out of her mouth is not the same thing as her brain. Lumosity Girl is not self-aware, apparently.

I’m gonna get me a Lumosity Girl wig, walk around Sam’s Club and make wide-eyed proclamations about my brain. Then, I’m gonna tell people that they’ll look smarter if they wear my wig, too. Also, I’m submitting my resume to get me an advertising job, cuz I know all I need to know, apparently.

4/13/2013: Update

The Lumosity Talking About Her Damn Brain in the 3rd Person chick is actually Emily Greco. That name sounds Italian. I still say she looks Irish. Maybe a mix. Here’s her site: